You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
