Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
