just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize