420 ftw
Someone shit on the floor
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
In other news, I just burned my penis
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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