I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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