what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
