is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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