Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
