...so i touched it.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
