Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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