I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
