ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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