My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
There are leaves in my underwear?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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