Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
PANTIES FOUND
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