like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
