Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
how does that bad decision feel?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
