I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
