dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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