I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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