we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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