I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
