I want to stick my p in your. b.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
