You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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