Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
