I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
