i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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