when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
