Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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