we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize