I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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