Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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