considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
