haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
