dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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