new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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