You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
