FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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