I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
