i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
