I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
