i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
