You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
