So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
