i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
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just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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