never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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