No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
