how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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