Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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