My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize