Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
