if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I touched a dick in church today
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
