Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
