My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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