all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
