what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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