the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
