Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
