I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
