I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
