oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
