foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
