Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I am mentally ready for anal.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
