Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
40s are totally the cure
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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