Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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