Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
