just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
